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Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Saw this post in Facebook, and I would like to share it with you guys cause it's so beautiful.

‎"If you love someone, ask him for nothing. Don’t hold him from his destiny. Don’t keep him from going off in search of his own answers. Don’t ask him for commitment. You will know commitment is real when it is something given willingly, and not as something obligatory. Don’t ask him for promises. If you are patient, if you have faith, you will know in your heart when the right time for promises has come. And when that time arrives, then you will see that you have both lost nothing by setting each other free, and have instead gained a richer, fuller life, a wealth of experiences, and a stronger certainty of your desires.

But should he not return to you, then life hasn’t cheated you because no promises were broken. Your bitterness will not last long, and you will feel thankful and blessed that at the very least, this beautiful soul has colored your life, that knowing him has already made life infinitely more meaningful.

By setting a person free, you run a risk of him not returning. But always remember that you found him beautiful precisely because he was free. People are like sunlight. You can feel their warmth, and their glow, but you can’t hold them in your hand and keep them with you forever. People choose to stay. But a choice is made more meaningful when it is made despite so many other options."

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Everything has changed

I was on a strict no-spending-on-stuff rule on myself for the past few weeks, 
but I just can't help buying this today:
A little too late, noh? I hope this helps with my MEMORY and productivity, cause I've been such a procrastinator this semester, and it has gotten worse! 

*song playing at the moment: "Everything Has Changed - Tswift & Ed Sheeran"*

Talking about things changing, I stumbled on a document in my computer entitled "multi memoirs"-- totally forgot that I saved my blog posts from my multiply here for preservation! (my multiply site: Here's something controversial and weird from October 28, 2009 which I posted  sort of privately (only 3 people can read it) which I'm gonna share today cause I think it's not that of a big deal anymore considering it was from 3 years ago. 

It's funny cause the title for the said blog post was "I'm a bitch. A selfish, uncaring, PRETENTIOUS bitch. Part 1". Wow lang, ha. Grabe ang hate sa sarili! (I think this idea of mine hasn't disappeared completely at the moment, but only to some little degree nalang, di naman ganitong level of self-hatred!) This was written when my relationship with my boyfriend in highschool was getting bumpy and I blamed everything on me. Of course I was too mad at myself because I thought I was the reason for the relationship to start crumbling... thus the post. I'm not gonna post everything... JUST BECAUSE
"It's been months since I've last clicked on post and then blog. It's been a long time. The once sweet posts I had about me and you know who have changed too. Just like me. I don't know. I'm pointless. I can't do it. So maybe ugh.. you can't catch up. It's like I'm hiding between a mask. I admit, I dont know who I've been lately. Maybe it's because of my parents leaving me and nic behind. It's like without them, there's no one reminding me of this and that. It may be nerve-wracking when you hear this from your parents, but I admit. I miss it. I miss the guidance. I miss family devotions. They were right though. I can't go live a life by myself. Not yet. Not until I'm strong in the faith. Not until I can learn to stand for what I believe in. For short, I'm immature.
I'm a bitch. I've been acting like one lately. Going home late, disobeying my parents, even fighting people for things they didnt do to me. ganun man ako dati ba.. pero parang nagworsen. First time ko tong i-admit sa  buhay ko, so yung mga tao lang na close sa akin ang makabasa nito. This is what I think of myself right now.
I'm dependent. Ken knows this. My mom knows this. I've been deluded to an idea that I need someone for me to be happy. I need someone to make me feel confident.Then kapag mawala ang taong yun, para akong magaga. Iyak dito, iyak doon. Ewan. Alam ko man din ba na parang di talaga sila para sakin.. pero ginapilit ko parin sarili ko. Alam ko na di sila tama para sakin. Siniseryoso ko talaga.. yun pala di pala seryoso para sa kanila. I've recently read a book lately entitled just friends. It's a christian book by the way, and my. it was a blessing. Dun ko narealize na emotionally-dependent pala talaga ako. And people like me are still arent ready for a relationship. Bang.
Sa tingin niyo may ginawa ako? Wala. Freaking wala. GAGA. Gaga talaga. Di ko kaya. Di talaga. Sobrang attached na ako..... Ewan.
I'm not as innocent as people think I am. Sa tingin nila I'm all so goody-goody, ganyan. Di talaga. Kung alam lang nila kung ano ginawa ko sa buhay ko. Kung anong mga pinanggagawa kong stupid. I've wasted my life. I've wasted my first kiss. I didn't save it for the right person. Yun. I;ve put my heart into something na wala pala talaga. I've entrusted my heart to people who I thought feel the same way too. Pero di pala. Hindi pala talaga. Marami na akong gnawa na di niyo ma-imagine na kaya kong gawin.. Things na siguro wala niyo pa natry. I'm wasted. Used. Crumpled, like the comparison I had with my life during C.E time. God, help.
People have this impression na tahimik ako. Na like kung awayin nila ako, di ako magfight back. They have this idea na sunud-sunuran lang ako parati, na wala akong ability na magalit, na magfight back. Mali na naman yan.
Chaka. Parang pretend lang man pala tong buhay na to uy. What have I been?!"
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe IMMATURITY!!!!
What do you think... Have I changed?