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Saturday, September 15, 2012

No one would even notice

Today life came crashing down on me.

Maybe it's just about time it comes tumbling down after all the years I've put all these walls around me. Today I felt vulnerable, impulsive, and terrified. If there was a day that I'd rather die than face the world, this would be it.

I wish I could just turn back time and maybe have the power to shape the experiences I'm in in order to change the present me. Or maybe not have the power to shape it, but live in the experiences life throws at me. It's actually weird how spontaneous everything in this world is. One second, you're blissfully happy. The next, suddenly you're at your weakest point.... Sigh. What should I do?

Reality shows up and slaps you in the face, and you have nothing left to do but give your other cheek for a good ol' slapping. I know I'm being so pessimistic the past few months. Mad, even. Everything I do isn't really enough for people. Sad to say, one of those people is one of the closest persons dear to me. Everyday I try my best to please that person, but I guess no matter how hard I try, I can't be compared.

I'm so frustrated with myself that I wish I could just curl up in a ball and disappear to thin air, and no one would even notice.

P. S. What else should I do?