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Saturday, December 1, 2012

November 28

November 28, 2012

To give you a detailed idea of what is currently happening, read this: Yesterday, I didn’t go to class, just because I had dysmenorrhea during the morning, and I just really wanted to spend the day with jon mark, and buy my yoga mat! Finally! I bought one in purple and even though I was physically “disabled” due to my womanly pains, I tried Pilates. Bad idea. Now I had a very aching back, which feels like I’ve been beaten up, especially in my lower spine. Could also be an effect of dysmenorrhea? Maybe both at the same time. Now I’m just glad I’m lying down. It feels so good. I’m kinda scared for Pilates tomorrow cause maybe my back will be painful again. *sigh* Right now, I’m listening to Alipin by Shamrock. It’s so relaxing to listen to songs you haven’t heard in a while. I think I now know why I’m not that iPod-type person… I keep repeating the songs I like at the moment, and just skip the others! In the long run, it just makes me hate all my songs, which is sad. So right now I’m happy I get to listen to Jon Mark’s playlist cause it’s not the usual.
Internet: Internet sucks right now that’s why I’m kinda writing a diary post. I feel that tonight is one of those nights… STALK NIGHTS! Nahhhh hope that doesn’t push through though. Hope so, I’m too tired! My body is, but my brain isn’t, so let’s just hope internet gets sucky for a little more time. (Although at the same time I feel I want it to work already). Girls on their period are very indecisive and confusing, noh? When JM and I were on the jeep back to Talamban, he jokingly said that we should make a rule to not see each other during the first day of my period cause I’m too impossible. Hot-tempered and hot-blooded I was during that moment, I ticked. I was pissed off and melodramatic and sad all at the same time. Gah, I can’t even describe my emotions when that happened.

Anyway, I’m happy to tell you that 2012 has been a year of many firsts again.

In this year,
First time to be so fat during summer. It’s the fattest I have ever been in my life!

I applied for a job for the first time! (At Aegis)

I got accepted for a call center agent, got extended for good job performance and sales, and got my first legit paycheck! (Aegis, Teleflora)

I got a legit massage for the first time! (at Nuat Thai)

I had gelato for the 1st time J


I bought my first legit rubber shoes!

I had my first workout!

Jogged my first lap and the second, and the third… till n lap at the oval at Abellana

I’ll try Pilates tomorrow. Legit workout at legit place!

First time buying a yoga mat

Okay… so far that’s what I remember. Nadistract na ako sa internet! Promise I’ll add to this list when I’ve internalized and did some deep thinking for my year. Plus, I’m having a new perspective on things. I am kinda using the phenomenon “spotlight effect” to change my perception of things. You’ll get to understand that sometime. Not today, HAHA I’m still just working my way through it J
Goodnight, readers! Whoever you are.


Wednesday, November 14, 2012


A quote I got from reading my social psych e-book (which I'm using for the meantime) today:

"When a feeling was there, they felt as if it
 would never go; when it was gone, they felt as if it 
had never been; when it returned, they felt as if it 
had never gone."
-George Macdonald, What's Mine's Mine, 1886

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Third year face

3rd year college self
(1st semester)

Hello, November self

NOVEMBER -- the second to the last month of the year lang naman. The month where my year's resolutions overwhelm me with a depressing thought: I haven't accomplished any of them, including this blog, which has been gathering a few cobwebs over the last months.

2012 has been a good year for me, although there weren't too much of adventures and new stuff that I can brag about. Personally, this year has been the year were I found myself hiding in my own shadow, too afraid to be in the lime light, mostly because of insecurity and fear of failure. I've been acing up my grades, no problem with that, but I'm left behind in experiences. Trying to explain it in personality psychology (I can't really specify what theory though), would lead you to believe that the problem will all point back to me. In clinical psychology, maybe I have a mental disorder or something... could be my neuroticism is too high now! *shudder* Looking at it at a social psychological perspective, maybe I'm just in the wrong environment or people. Sigh.

I've been subconsciously and often intentionally surrounded myself with negativity, especially when it comes to my self-esteem. "I'm not good with this", "I can't do that!", "Kaganda niya!", "I'm so fat/ugly/dumb" are just some of the phrases I usually use to shove myself to the pit of low self-esteem.

Relationship-wise, I'm in the best romantic relationship I have ever had in my entire life. It's just that all the time I'm too insecure to fully grasp and experience that fact. I'm not insecure with our relationship, I'm insecure with myself. It's not like highschool though that I'm paranoid and crazy over the girls he talks to. It's simple self-esteem issues. Just me. I keep comparing myself to other people, I realize that this just eats me up, stop for a while, and I repeat the cycle all over again. ANO BA TO, FOREVER NALANG AKO INSECURE SA AKING SARILI? WHAT IS HAPPENING

Don't mind this. Just needed to vent. Hehe

Saturday, September 15, 2012

No one would even notice

Today life came crashing down on me.

Maybe it's just about time it comes tumbling down after all the years I've put all these walls around me. Today I felt vulnerable, impulsive, and terrified. If there was a day that I'd rather die than face the world, this would be it.

I wish I could just turn back time and maybe have the power to shape the experiences I'm in in order to change the present me. Or maybe not have the power to shape it, but live in the experiences life throws at me. It's actually weird how spontaneous everything in this world is. One second, you're blissfully happy. The next, suddenly you're at your weakest point.... Sigh. What should I do?

Reality shows up and slaps you in the face, and you have nothing left to do but give your other cheek for a good ol' slapping. I know I'm being so pessimistic the past few months. Mad, even. Everything I do isn't really enough for people. Sad to say, one of those people is one of the closest persons dear to me. Everyday I try my best to please that person, but I guess no matter how hard I try, I can't be compared.

I'm so frustrated with myself that I wish I could just curl up in a ball and disappear to thin air, and no one would even notice.

P. S. What else should I do?

Thursday, February 2, 2012


This week has got to be the most hectic week ever since the start of the second semester. Hectic because papers, projects, and exams are piling up. The worst thing about it is the mice exam is gonna be on Saturday and the mice have been acting up. It's the week I can call "Desperation Week".

Reasons why my groupmates and I are desperate:
  1. If they don't complete/perfect the maze, the five of us will get 3.5. 3.5=BAGSAK
  2. Our mice has been with us for more than a month now. They've been with us since December 26.
  3. Our mice (Therence, Derrick, Kobe and Lebron) don't want to eat anymore.
  4. Or if they do, kunti lang masyado. 
  5. Mapili pa talaga sa pagkain. We've fed them these tapos for example, we gave Lebron skyflakes during the times she reached three correct points in the maze and then sa next point, suddenly ayaw na nilang mag-eat. That's why we prepare all these when training. Bigla nalang kasing mag-sawa.
    • pellets
    • skyflakes
    • peanuts
    • peanut butter biscuits
    • cheese
    • magic flakes (cheese flavor)
    • cookies
    • carrots
  6. We can't train them all the time.
  7. Kobe only wants to escape. 
  8. Lebron turns out to be a girl. And PREGNANT.
  9. This week bigla nalang sila di naga-cooperate. What the hell. Of all weeks, it had to be this one. Whyyyy... it's like they've suddenly become dumb. They don't even know where to go anymore. :((
I brought the mice with me tonight, and my groupmates and I agreed on training them every hour. Anytime as possible. I hope they'll cooperate tonight.
Here's a picture of Rudj chasing the one that got away


On a lighter note,  Ate Mich visited TC today and after afternoon training, she treated us to siomai and puso just so to lessen our stress. 

Ang nag-libre, BOW


Apple, me and ate Mich-- stressed face mode

Charles: pa-good boy effect. AS IF MASYADO

Nabawasan talaga ang stress dahil busog na busog. Thank God for cheat hours! Hahahaha!
God bless nalang sa ating lahat sa mice exam. *puts hand over heart* ALL IS WELL, ALL IS WELL.

Sana nga.


Tuesday, January 31, 2012


There's something I feel that I'm missing lately.
I'm just not sure what exactly.

Just another sunset photo.
SOOC. I took this photo last month, by the way. 

Monday, January 30, 2012

Monday Sunset

The sky during sunset. Isn't it lovely?

Photo is SOOC (Straight Out of Camera)

Sunday, January 29, 2012


A picture of me before taking the exam (I forgot what subject it was. Basta)

Finally. Got some rest after a looooooong week of excessive brain wrinkling, so that's why I am now gonna blog about my week.

MONDAY turned about to be a holiday for the celebration of the Chinese New Year, and it was also USC's study day. DUH. It's the first time that I ever really really really studied on a study day... like I mean, literally the whole day! I didn't go out on that day which is pretty amazing! I feel proud of myself! #Selfmotivation Just trained the rats in the morning with Charles, and then I was back to studying. Sino man din ang hindi magstudy nun na day na Zoology Lec and Cognitive Psych (105) ang i-exam on that day. I think you can pretty much imagine how much gahot I did that day.

TUESDAY. Ughhh. Don't wanna even talk about it. Exam wasn't as hard as I thought but still hard nonetheless. Got lots of mistakes that I don't wanna talk about anymore. Magkita nalang ta ani sa midterm grades jud. 105 exam was okay... but I'm not quiet sure how it turned out. Emphasis on I'M NOT SURE.

WEDNESDAY was economics exam. Sir AlTab (some nickname my classmates made for our teacher) gave us a five-paged exam. It was fine until... we got to the items that he didn't even discuss. Sorcery, I tell you!!!! It was in the next chapter!!!

THURSDAY. Had no exams for the day, so I studied for Experimental Psych (106) exam, and a teeny tiny bit of ReEd (Religious Education), and Philo. Brain torture.

FRIDAY. 106 exam was bearable, Sir Gaylo didn't show up, and Philo Exam almost took 2 hours to finish. 2 hours for four questions! I'm quite confident about my answers. I have to be cause I need a comeback from my bad grade during the pre-midterms. :(

I'm quite scared about my grades this semester because I'M NOT SURE about my midterm grades. I'M NOT CONFIDENT about them. :(( Let go and let God nalang talaga ito.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Science and Faith

Before taking the Philo exam yesterday, I opened Daily Bread and looked for the devotion for January 26 since I didn't get to read it the day before.

The title of the devotional is "What Faith Is and Does". It talked about being more committed to God during times when doubts are raised in your mind because of the injustice and false beliefs that you constantly meet everyday. Faith assures us of God's reality and the glory that awaits us. This is what I exactly needed to feed my soul for the day, it really blessed me because lately I have been going through some sort of confusion about my faith. I had questions, and lots of them. True talaga na minsan science does lead us to question God. :( Glad I've gotten through that phase. I guess I've been swayed by the world, but the great thing is that God never changes. He's always faithful!

I'm praying to be more committed and steadfast to God this year. By God's grace, I know I will be.
338 days of 2012 to go! :)

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Newly developed

Got some pictures developed today. I didn't plan to at first but since I had to get some pictures printed for our PE project, I decided to get some of my other pics from sembreak developed as well. :)

Thinking of doing a photowall. Joy started hers already, so maybe I could too. I hope I have time (and money!) for that soon!


Friday, January 20, 2012

BBQ Friday

Went out with Ben, Rudj, Apple and Charles for barbecue today. Ben suggested that we'd go to Mathias... a BBQ place in AS Fortuna. Sabi ni Apple na masarap daw din doon.

Here's Ben doing his usual pose

Ben, Rudj and Apple... gutom na?
Cebu's famous puso
I don't have decent pictures of the food cause I kept the camera right after the food was served. Gutom na kasi! DMD!

Pork Belly 
Chorizo+Pork BBQ 

No pictures while we were eating. BOOOOOOOO

The faces after lunch. Busog na ay! 
And finally I made an appearance :)

Hahahahaha by the way, Ben has some sort of family relationship with Marj of 105.9 and he requested
"Science and Faith" by The Script. Tapos he added pa na i-greet kami, cause we were studying "daw".
First time ko na ma-greet sa radio! Walang basagan ng trip! Happy ako! 

 Charles and me!

And then Apple really wanted to take a picture of me driving... so I gave the car a sudden break. HAHAHA
(I can still imagine Apple's reaction)
 Rudj and Ben... LQ? jk!

Fun lunch trip with friends but 
photos end here. :(

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Year starter!

New year? Another 366 days to leave a mark. New realizations. New experiences. New start. And... a new blog!

So the usual blog-starter for me is: "It's been a while since I last blogged". Which I think I used in almost every other blog I had when it was new or when I updated after a very long time of hiatus. Haha, really. It's been a while. The last time I remember blogging was during the last months of 2010... or could be the first few months of 2011. I don't know exactly, which just proves that it's REALLY REALLY been so long!

If you've read the stuff that I poured my heart out on a secret part of the internet, well, I've gotten over it. Great thing, right? I'm in a state of contentment right now and I wouldn't give up anything to be somewhere else. :)

Cheers to putting-another-blog-in-the-crowded-Web! Heehee